A short story I wrote after walking to work one day.

I was walking past a Methodist church and there were these two elderly people standing out front of the building. They were both looking at me in an almost entranced expression.

"I'm sorry but it's a nine o'clock assembly," the woman said.

I stopped about ten feet from them and looked at my watch. it was ten o'clock already. i don't know why I bothered because I'm not even Methodist. I'm non-practicing Catholic, so why would I even bother with these people?

"Yeah, we hope to see you at tomorrow's assembly," the man said.
I had no intention at all in going to their assembly but I thought I'd mess with them instead of just admitting I'm not Methodist to them.

"I don't know if I would be allowed in there." I said and nodded towards the church.

"Even those in sin can still attend assembly," the lady replied.

"Well, I'm not even of your religion and my gods would be very upset."

"I'm sorry. Did you say 'gods'?"

"Yeah, I'm pagan."

"Pagan? I thought that belief was dead," the man said.

"It will live as long as the Earth does," I said.

"Oh, well you know the Lord's way is the true way and it's not to late for you," the woman said.

"Do not try and convert me to your mockery religion!" I said as I took a step forward and clenched my fists to emphasize my statement. The woman was visibly startled by my outburst.

"I'm...I'm sorry I only meant to..."she started to say but I cut her off.

"Enough! I've had it with you!" I said. I then held my arm straight towards them with an open hand. My palm was facing them. I started to mumble gibberish that was a mix of German and Klingon from Star Trek. The two became very uncomfortable. I walked past them and they stared at me while I passed. I don't think they woman blinked once.

"What just happened?" I head the woman say when I was about thirty feet from them.

I turned around and said back to them plainly, "I wished you happiness for the rest of your lives."

I turned around and continued on my way. A smile found its way to my face as I walked.